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Amanda Kloots We had a small memorial yesterday

Amanda kloots we had a small memorial yesterday  amanda kloots  we had a small memorial yesterday with close family and friends. I said, “nick would have wanted this to be a celebration.

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Amanda Kloots We had a small memorial yesterday 

Let’s try to laugh, share great stories and sing for him and to his memory.” he would have loved it. It was beautiful and perfect. His spirit was definitely there.

We listened to the song, i’m here, from the color purple. Nick and i saw this show on broadway years ago and we left the theater in tears, speechless. 

As it was being played last night the lyrics in the second half of the song hit me hard. Truly, i am scared. Scared of my new normal, of the pain, the loss and being strong enough to get through it. But, i know nick is up above routing for me, believing in me and hoping for me.
 

 He wants me to live this new life and he wants me to be the best version of myself for our son. I promised him in the hospital that i would try to do that.  
So, when i heard these lyrics yesterday i thought, “ok. When i’m doubting if i can get through this, i’m playing this song. It will be my motto.  

This is a long journey ahead and a down road i never thought i’d be on. No one can tell me how to do it, i have to do it. I may do things right, i may do them wrong. There isn’t a perfect way. One day, one step at a time. I have faith that god is leading the way and that nick is our angel.

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